Swinging Solo

In a few days time it shall all be back to the regular routine once more: I shall be traipsing lazily to class, grabbing bites in-between, sharing corny jokes with mates (old ones, of course) and trying to mingle with the new people. I’m really very apprehensive about it all, making new friends. At times, I’m at an ease. At others, I feel like I can’t be bothered to. Why can’t I just sink into pretentious oblivion and allow myself to be antisocial, for once? Haven’t I got enough on my mind already? Surely there’s more to life than pretending as though I’m really interested in making new friends for the sole purpose of ensuring I get good assignment cum study mates. If I could do it all on my own, life would be so much easier. I can predict it – my time in college will be a blur, I will be immersed in it all; lazy from the start and hard at work as it approaches the end. I despise my procrastination, yet I welcome it with open arms. Life will be oh-so-hectic, as opposed to my boredom of it all.  I shall use and be used, and be filled with angst towards the end. I want it all to change, for life to not be like this. I want to meet new acquaintances, and strengthen old bonds. Help and be helped. I need to finally be able to decide on what it is I actually want. College life will be different this time, and everything is changed. Momentarily, if not permanently.