Idk

I think I’ve reached a point in life where I find myself most frustrated and exhausted. It’s like I don’t have the strength to even care anymore. I resist the urge to shoot ‘so what?’ and ‘this does not concern me’ to your face. Ah, despicable me. But I’m too numb to bother about possible outcomes; I’m sick of doing the dirty work, picking up the pieces of what’s left. And there are friends. I refused to think they’d change. But now it seems that change is inevitable. Are they really of much significance? I don’t want to be fooled anymore – friends come and go. We can’t possibly help everyone, especially not when we’ve got so much on our minds. And when you’re beginning to lose respect for that certain someone, you know it’s the end. Simply because seeing is believing.

There’s something about the phrase ‘familiarity breeds contempt’, which I find quite true, seeing that it applies to me. I don’t know if it has a similar effect on you, but it definitely does on me. A change of environment would be good, although (ironically) it’s only the first semester of my third year in college. Yet I yearn for it. I was this close to bursting into tears today while attempting my MYOB test. I’m unable to comprehend my ability of stressing over anything, may it be of utmost importance, or incredibly irrelevant. Am I incapable of making sound judgments anymore? Idk, I really don’t.

Exams are just around the corner, so I bet this would be my final post before September arrives. Advanced dip has been giving me rather unpleasant surprises, and I’ve already been advised to take recent failures as a wake up call. Thing is, this wake up call has been made a while back. Which puzzles me: are wake up calls practical in the least? Sighs.